...... umm...... this is certainly uncharted waters for me...... sharing thoughts has always been difficult for me, but i have always wondered if it would be liberating to just share your thoughts n experiences.....
I really dunno how to go about this blogging stuff..... but here goes........
I may seem like complaining...... but it seems that my life's been going through a rough patch these days....... n frankly speaking these last few weeks i've been bordering on depression... i didnt know how to deal with it.... so i had this crazy idea n so here i am......

Got into trouble in May with the institute authorities due to a technicality..... n now a simple mistake i made has been hounding me like hell...... it seems the problem is jus multiplying exponentially..... there seems to be no end to this problem..... n i'm tired...... tired of people who dont care...... tired of caring too much........ of all the bureaucracy...... things get tied up without the slightest chances of going forward..... the only good thing that i personally think came out of this experience is...... that i've become quite good in writing application, appeals, n the like....... i have written almost 5 application in a single day... ha ha..... jus tryin to be optimistic......
I've tried to be optimistic, i jus cant take it anymore...... at certain days i feel like not caring...... jus stop thinking about this idiotic problem facing me....... n i suceed.. sometimes... but it never last.. 2 days maximum... then crash...i fall down again.... falling lower than before, sometimes soo low i wonder if i'll ever be able to pick myself again....... i mean i wonder, wont it be much much better if i did not care..... if jus let it be..... go on as if nothing happened..... mayb better..... but thing is i'm no good at pretending.... n if i go on pretending..... i get so sick of myself.... cos in my opinion the worst wrong that a person could do to himself/herself is to pretend things u dont feel.. or basically pretend to be someone u r not.......
i could go on writing but my thoughts r changing...... n i'd like to keep my thoughts consistent atleast 4 this........ so c ya.......